TV Show Excerpts
Twirlywoos episode 1.05 – “Connecting” (2015)
At a bus stop, the Twirlywoos witness a boy re-tying his loose shoelaces.
They are learning about “connecting”, so they start by connecting the boy's shoelaces together, then continue to connect the three waiting passengers together via their shoelaces.
View excerpt
TWIRLYWOO: (ties the shoelaces of the boy's shoes to each other)
NARRATOR: Connecting!
The Paradise episode 2.04 – “Episode 4” (2013)
Mr Fenton (Adrian Scarborough) has lost a bet, and agrees to pay the original asking price that Mr Weston (Ben Daniels) wanted for The Paradise.
Mr Weston – obviously vengeful – replies that he wouldn't even sell Mr Fenton a shoelace.
View excerpt
MR FENTON: I must congratulate you, Mr Weston.
MR WESTON: Would you take me for a pigeon, Mr Fenton? Would you pick my pocket? Do you look at me and see an easy mark?
MR FENTON: I lost. I accept that. You can't b-blame a man for trying. I will p-pay your price.
MR WESTON: Some men have little forgiveness in them. I'm a soldier. I have none. I would not sell a shoelace to you, sir. If you do not leave my store, I will personally remove you.
The Big Bang Theory episode 11.08 – “The Tesla Recoil” (2017)
Howard (Simon Helberg), Raj (Kunal Nayyar), Penny (Kaley Cuoco) and Leonard (Johnny Galecki) are ready to watch a movie but are waiting for Sheldon (Jim Parsons) and Amy (Mayim Bialik) to arrive.
The two are running late thanks to Sheldon's untied shoelace, which Amy re-ties.
View excerpt
RAJ: Can we start the movie?
HOWARD: (checks his wristwatch) Before Sheldon gets here? Last time we did that, he didn't talk to us for a month. (sees the potential upside) So do it!
PENNY: Hold on – where is he?
LEONARD: Well, according to his text ... (checks his phone) ... he was on the second floor, then he stopped to tie his shoe. (puts down phone)
...LEONARD: (a moment later, phone chimes, which Leonard picks up and reads) All tied – and ... (waits expectantly)
SHELDON: (enters briskly) Hello!
AMY: (also enters briskly) Hi.
SHELDON: Sorry we're late. Amy took forever tying my shoe.
(Later in the same episode there's a second shoe-tying reference – this time about how difficult it can be for women to tie their own shoes while heavily pregnant.)
The Big Bang Theory episode 6.20 – “The Tenure Turbulence” (2013)
Leonard (Johnny Galecki) and his friends and co-workers are up for tenure.
Penny (Kaley Cuoco) offers to accompany Leonard to an informal meeting with members of the tenure committee,
and bends over to tie her shoelaces to demonstrate to him that she would be an “ass”et.
View excerpt
PENNY: Well, since Amy's going, do you want me there, you know, to support you?
LEONARD: Oh, that's nice, but it – it's just gonna be a room full of boring old men, I'm not sure how much help you'd be.
PENNY: Okay. Just gonna – tie my shoe while you think about that. (gets up and ties shoe, bending from the hip)
LEONARD: (sees Penny's rear) Ohh, yeah, no, thanks, that would be a great help.
PENNY: (gets up and smiles knowingly)
LEONARD: You realize you might kill some of them?
PENNY: Well, then you all can get tenure.
The Big Bang Theory episode 5.11 – “The Speckerman Recurrence” (2011)
Leonard (Johnny Galecki) is up in the middle of the night, churning over whether to meet with his former classmate, Jimmy Speckerman, who used to bully him.
Leonard recounts to Sheldon (Jim Parsons) that Speckerman once made him floss his teeth with his own shoelaces.
View excerpt
SHELDON: So, what's got you up? Did you have a bad clam?
LEONARD: I didn't have clams.
SHELDON: I don't watch you 24 hours a day, I don't know what you do.
LEONARD: It's this Jimmy Speckerman thing. I can't decide if I should agree to see him or not.
Of course, that might be because the last time I ran into him, he made me floss with my own shoelaces.
SHELDON: Wear loafers.
Curb Your Enthusiasm episode 8.06 – “The Hero” (2011)
Larry (Larry David), emerging from an airplane bathroom, trips on his excessively long shoelace and inadvertently brings down a drunk, abusive passenger, making him an instant hero.
Back on the ground, the same long laces also end up getting tangled in a subway train door.
View excerpt
LARRY: (to fellow passenger) Look at this, look at the size of these laces. Have you noticed that they're making laces much longer than they used to?
(The problem of
excess shoelace length is highlighted in two subsequent incidents in the same episode)
Two and a Half Men episode 6.12 – “Thank God for Scoliosis” (2009)
Berta (Conchata Ferrell) is telling Charlie (Charlie Sheen) how she worked for actor Telly Savalas,
who had the type of passion that could be aroused by someone tying their shoelaces in front of him.
View excerpt
BERTA: I crossed that line in the 70s when I was cleaning house for Mr Telly Savalas.
CHARLIE: No kiddin'. TV's “Kojak”?
BERTA: One and the same.
CHARLIE: What happened?
BERTA: What do you think happened? He's Greek, a man of passion. You can't tie your shoes around those guys.
Phineas and Ferb episode 2.03 – “Tip of the Day” (2009)
Phineas and Ferb learn that the tip of a shoelace is called an
aglet. Soon the whole town is trying to raise awareness of this little-known word, including singing a song spelling out “A-G-L-E-T”.
Virtually the whole episode is devoted to aglets!
View excerpt
PHINEAS: So, uh – Candace – smart-word-box find name shoelace-tip?
CANDACE: Ugh – would you wait? I'm dealing with something that actually matters here! Aagh – the Internet crashed!
PHINEAS: I know – (snaps fingers) Baljeet! This kind of stuff is right up his alley.
(cut to Baljeet's encyclopaedic bookshelf)
BALJEET: Useless Shoelace Facts, Volume 8. The plastic or metal tip on the end of a shoelace is called an – aglet. A-G-L-E-T.
It is one of the most useful yet tragically ignored inventions in all of history.
PHINEAS: Gosh, Ferb, that seems like a great injustice, huh? Oh well – (departing) thanks, Baljeet.
(way too much dialogue about aglets in the rest of this episode to reproduce in full – except for the following chorus from the town's “Aglet Aid” concert:)
CHORUS: A-G-L-E-T – AGLET! Don't forget it!
The Suite Life of Zack & Cody episode 1.22 – “Kisses & Basketball” (2006)
London (Brenda Song) – a teenage shopaholic – wants to shop, but Maddie (Ashley Tisdale) is in control of her credit card.
London is desperate to buy something – anything – whether it be a pair of shoes, a single shoe, a shoelace – or even less.
View excerpt
LONDON: I just need one little thing.
MADDIE: No!
LONDON: Shoes – just shoes.
MADDIE: No! (chases London around the room)
LONDON: One shoe.
MADDIE: Not even! (chases London in the opposite direction)
LONDON: A shoelace.
MADDIE: No!
LONDON: That little piece of plastic at the end of the shoelace that nobody knows what it's called.
MADDIE: You mean an aglet?
LONDON: Yeah!
MADDIE: NO!
SpongeBob SquarePants episode 2.01a – “Your Shoe's Untied” (2000)
Gary – somewhat surprisingly – ties SpongeBob's shoes, then lifts his (snail) body to reveal that he also wears shoes himself.
To explain how he learned, Gary lifts his shell to reveal a record turntable and plays a shoe-tying song titled “Loop de Loop”.
View excerpt
SPONGEBOB: Gary – you can tie shoes! How did you learn to do that?
GARY: (lifts shell and plays record)
# Want to learn how to tie your shoe?
# It's a very easy thing to do.
# Sit on down and I'll give you the scoop.
# What's that? It's called a “Loop de Loop”.
# You got to take a lace in each hand.
# You go over and under again.
# You make a “Loop de Loop” and pull.
# And your shoes are lookin' cool.
# You go over and back, left to right.
# “Loop de Loop” and you pull 'em tight.
# Like bunny ears or a Christmas bow.
# Lace 'em up and you're ready to go.
# You make a “Loop de Loop” and pull.
# And your shoes are lookin' cool.
# (instrumental solo)
# You make a “Loop de Loop” and pull.
# And your shoes are lookin' cool.
Spin City episode 3.06 – “Three Men and a Little Lady” (1998)
Mayor Randall Winston (Barry Bostwick) and his assistants Mike (Michael J. Fox) and Paul (Richard Kind)
are taking a shortcut through a back alley when the mayor stops to re-tie a loose shoelace. The laneway turns out to be a dead end, where the three are mugged by a schoolgirl.
View excerpt
PAUL: Come on, come on, less talkin', more walkin' guys. Okay, the shortcut to the limo's right through here.
RANDALL: Ohhohoho...hold up fellas. Tying my shoe. (puts boot up onto a pipe)
PAUL: Oh come on, Mr Mayor, PLEASE come on! Claudia was expecting me home half an hour ago.
MIKE: Oh, you know what? Enough about Claudia.
PAUL: Oh, but I was supposed to wash Claudia's hair tonight.
RANDALL: (finishes re-tying boot) Well isn't that romantic.
PAUL: Yeah, but I wanted to finish before she got home!
Seinfeld episode 9.01 – “The Butter Shave” (1997)
Jerry (Seinfeld) – an obsessive germophobe – removes and discards one of his shoelaces when he discovers that a loose end touched the floor of a men's room (lavatory).
View excerpt
KRAMER: Hey. What are you doing?
JERRY: I'm taking this lace out. It came undone and touched the floor of a men's room. That's the end of that!
Seinfeld episode 8.04 – “The Little Kicks” (1996)
Jerry (Seinfeld) is walking along the street with Kramer (Michael Richards) when, for no apparent reason, he stops to re-tie his right shoelace.
View excerpt
KRAMER: No, I wouldn't walk over there.
JERRY: Why not? (stops to re-tie shoelace)
KRAMER: 'Cause it's the most dangerous part of the sidewalk. Cab hops the curb – whack! – you've had your last egg sandwich.
Seinfeld episode 7.23 – “The Wait Out” (1996)
George (Jason Alexander) and his fiancé, Susan (Heidi Swedberg), are sitting in a café, obviously at a conversational dead-end. No doubt recalling how the last such conversation
(see below) led to Susan buying shoelaces, George notes that they're working out okay.
View excerpt
GEORGE: The uh – the shoelaces that you bought me, they – they worked out well. (gives thumbs up)
SUSAN: Well you know, if you need some more, I can get 'em for ya.
GEORGE: Should be a while though.
Seinfeld episode 7.18 – “The Friar’s Club” (1996)
George (Jason Alexander) and his fiancé, Susan (Heidi Swedberg), are sitting in a café, obviously at a conversational dead-end.
George finds himself recounting how his shoelace broke, and resignedly accepts Susan's help in buying a replacement.
View excerpt
GEORGE: I uh, oh – broke a shoelace today.
SUSAN: Oh, I can get you shoelaces tomorrow.
GEORGE: Okay.
SUSAN: So, what color?
GEORGE: Brown. (muses for a moment) Maybe a black.
SUSAN: Mmm.
WAITRESS: (walks by table with coffee pot) More coffee?
GEORGE: No – check! (quieter) Please.
Seinfeld episode 6.24 – “The Understudy” (1995)
Gennice (Adelaide Miller), an understudy for Bette Midler, gets her big chance to take the stage, only to come unstuck after barely singing one line due to an untied shoelace.
In a parody of Tonya Harding's
skate lace incident in the 1994 Olympics, she tearfully begs to be allowed to start over.
View excerpt
GENNICE: (enters, dancing and singing...) # Been a long journey from Milan to Minsk...
...GENNICE: (notices untied shoelace) Wait, wait – hold it. Stop! (sobs) I'm sorry, I have to start it over. Look at my shoelace!
I can't do it like this! (sobs) Please let me start it over! (sobs) Please! (sobs) Please!!!
Seinfeld episode 5.10 – “The Cigar Store Indian” (1993)
Kramer (Michael Richards) and Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) are on the New York subway.
At Queensboro Plaza, Kramer re-tightens both his shoelaces in preparation for a dash onto the station to buy a Gyros and get back onto the same train.
View excerpt
ANNOUNCER: Next stop, Queensboro Plaza.
KRAMER: Oh! Queensboro Plaza. (starts re-tying shoelaces) This stop is famous for its Gyros. You want one?
ELAINE: How are you gonna get something and get back on the train in time?
KRAMER: Well they got a stand right out on the platform. (finishes tying shoelaces)
The Gyros are cooked and wrapped and ready to go, (counts money) three dollars, no change. You want one?
ELAINE: (chuckles) No thanks.
KRAMER: Uh-huh, but no bites! (gets up and joins the scrum at the train door)
Full House episode 6.06 – “Educating Jesse” (1992)
Danny (Bob Saget) decides to give Michelle (Mary-Kate Olsen) an impromptu shoe-tying lesson and song.
This doesn't go well, as Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin) argues with Danny that the “overs” and “unders” in his song are incorrect.
Besides this initial scene, the episode contains several more shoelace-tying scenes.
View excerpt
DANNY: Girls, dinner's ready.
STEPHANIE: Great! I'm starved.
MICHELLE: Stop! You forgot. Somebody has to tie my shoe.
STEPHANIE: Michelle, I tied your shoe at breakfast, on the way to school, on the way back from school, and twice since we've been home.
MICHELLE: Well, then you're not doing a very good job.
DANNY: Michelle – excuse me, Steph – you know what? I think it is time to teach you the shoelace-tying song.
Come over here and watch very closely what I do. I'm excellent at this. Okay? Here we go. Goes like this:
DANNY: (begins tying while singing...) # Over, under, around the tree...
STEPHANIE: Dad, it's not “over, under.” It's “under, over”.
...STEPHANIE: (singing...) # Under, over, around the tree
DANNY: That's a beautiful rendition, honey, but I'm positive that it's “over” then “under”.
STEPHANIE: Dad, you've been wearing loafers too long. It's definitely “under” then “over”.
DANNY: Sweetheart, I've been tying my shoes for 30 years.
STEPHANIE: Maybe you've been doing it wrong for 30 years?
MICHELLE: (gives up and heads downstairs)
Full House episode 3.05 – “Granny Tanny” (1989)
Michelle (Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen) asks her older sister Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin) to tie her shoes for her.
Stephanie then tries to teach her younger sister how to tie them for herself, using a bunny-rabbit mnemonic.
View excerpt
MICHELLE: (enters room with shoes untied) Stephie – help!
STEPHANIE: Oh – tie your shoes again? This is getting old. You're going to learn to tie your shoes all by yourself. Okay?
MICHELLE: All wight.
STEPHANIE: (bends down) Now, pay very close attention (takes Michelle's shoelace).
First the rabbit crosses the stream (completes starting knot).
And then he goes over the log – and around the tree – and through the hole – and – voila! (finished knot is revealed)
You've got rabbit ears! Now, can you get the other one tied?
MICHELLE: No pwoblem (makes no attempt and instead walks off to find help elsewhere). Joey – help!
STEPHANIE: Kids today – they have it way too easy.
Cheers episode 1.06 – “Any Friend of Diane’s” (1982)
Diane (Shelley Long) is trying to impress a friend by pretending that she is in a relationship with her handsome boss Sam (Ted Danson).
Sam decides to torment Diane by asking her to tie his shoelace. Diane immediately reciprocates by tying them excruciatingly tight.
View excerpt
SAM: You know I guess I'm kind of old-fashioned, I like a woman who does what her man tells her. Oh hey, lookee there, my shoe's undone, will you get that for me, honey?
DIANE: What, darling?
SAM: Would you – tie my shoesey-woosey for me? She loves doing these – little things for me.
DIANE: (kneels and proceeds to tie Sam's shoelace excruciatingly tight)
SAM: (painfully) That's a little tight there, honey.
DIANE: How's that, sweetie?
SAM: Well that – that's much better. Thank you.
M*A*S*H episode 5.02 – “Bug Out” (1976)
Hawkeye (Alan Alda), Hot Lips (Loretta Swit) and Radar (Gary Burghoff) stay behind while the rest of the M*A*S*H 4077th unit retreats.
Radar brings in some foodstuffs that they were left, including some shoelaces, which Hawkeye jokes about how he would like them served.
View excerpt
RADAR: (enters room) Oh, wow. Everybody's heading south, the whole road's jammed up with traffic.
HAWKEYE: They must be going to the Rosebowl game.
HOT LIPS: What'd you bring, Corporal?
RADAR: Oh, they left us this stuff, sir. It's a couple cans of Vienna sausage, two cans of Spam, some dehydrated potatoes and some extra shoelaces.
HAWKEYE: I'll have the shoelaces, house dressing. And have the chef remove the tips.
RADAR: Shoelaces.
HAWKEYE: Black or brown?
RADAR: Brown.
HAWKEYE: Then make it oil and vinegar.
Columbo episode 4.01 – “An Exercise in Fatality” (1974)
Columbo (Peter Falk) proves to Milo (Robert Conrad) that the victim's shoelaces were tied by someone else due to the different orientation of the loops.
A murderer undone by a shoelace bow! Contains great close-ups of shoelaces being tied.
View excerpt
COLUMBO: (lengthy prelude in which Columbo demonstrates tying his own shoe plus an empty sneaker positioned as though it is someone else's)
...COLUMBO: (pulls out a photo) Look at this photograph. This is a picture of Mr Stafford's sneakers. It was taken when the body was discovered.
You'll notice that the first loop – which you can always identify, it's the top one – the first loop is on the side of the little toe.
...COLUMBO: (pulls out a dress shoe) Now look at this shoe. This is Mr Stafford's shoe. I found it in his locker. Now this is the interesting point.
...COLUMBO: (points to own shoe) When I tie my own lace, the first loop is on the side of the big toe. When Mr Stafford ties his own laces,
the first loop is on the side of the big toe. This (pointing to Mr Stafford's shoe) matches with this (points to own shoe).
...COLUMBO: However, when I tie somebody else's shoe, the first loop is on the side of the little toe. And this (points to own sneaker) matches with this (points to photo).
...COLUMBO: There's only one conclusion. Mr Stafford did not put on his own sneakers. Somebody else did! And that somebody was you. YOU changed his clothes!
Happy Days episode 1.06 – “The Deadly Dares” (1974)
Richie (Ron Howard) and Potsie (Anson Williams) have to carry out six “deadly dares” to join a local gang.
In one dare, they tie together the shoelaces of a policeman while he is trying to ask Marsha (Beatrice Colen) out on a date.
View excerpt
MARSHA & POLICEMAN: (beside police car, chatting about going out together...)
RICHIE & POTSIE: (crawl under car and each untie one of the policeman's shoelaces)
MARSHA & POLICEMAN: (continue chatting...)
RICHIE: (starts tying the two shoelaces together)
POLICEMAN: What about tonight?
MARSHA: Sure! If you can't trust a policeman, who can you trust?
POLICEMAN: Right!
RICHIE: (finishes tying and retreats)
POLICEMAN: I'll see you tonight, ma'am. (salutes Marsha)
MARSHA: I look forward to it.
POLICEMAN: (starts to walk off but stumbles due to his tied shoelaces, grabs Marsha and falls all over her)
MARSHA: (screams) I knew it! All men are terrible!
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